After reading weeks of newspaper articles, here is what I know. Drilling for oil in the ocean is every bit as safe as nuclear energy. Nothing will go wrong as long as there is no human error, equipment failure, corporate desire to save money, or lack of effective regulation and/or inspection. Or maybe a hurricane or an earthquake or an attack by those people who don't like us, but we know none of that ever happens.
But if anything did go wrong, it would be another corporation's fault. And another political party's fault. But no problem, because on the slight chance that somebody else did make a mistake, we have accumulated a collection of booms, flames, boxes, domes, and tubes to fix it. And if that doesn't work, we'll just throw a bunch of junk on top of it. Don't worry, be happy!
Did you hear that Rush Limbaugh suggested that ecoterrorists blew it up? I guess I don't disagree; it's just a matter of definition. Or hey, maybe the wildlife rehabbers did it so they could practice de-oiling birds! Or Florida--I know historically they were opposed to offshore drilling but in recent years, 55% favored it. Since the little oops, 55% now oppose it. Yep, I think it was the Florida chapter of the AARP--they always liked those little dogs more than people anyway.
And of course the big climate change bill in the senate has, um, changed also because while a month ago more offshore oil drilling was a great idea whether you thought so or not, now it's not such great policy so they'll let states say no if they choose. That's those crazy senators, acting on polls. They're not real leaders like Obama singing Drill Baby Drill or Palin demanding more Socialistic Oversight of Corporations. I can see Russia reflected in the oil sheen. I can see clearly now. It's gonna be a bright bright sunshiny day.
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