Wednesday, April 20, 2011

7 Seconds in Yellowstone

The scenario: somewhere in 3472 square miles, greentangle walks alone.

Suddenly, an angry bear charges.

Greentangle draws his weapon, flips back the safety, and waits for the charging bear to get within 30 feet, the limit of his weapon's effectiveness. 30 feet isn't far. Greentangle must have some serious balls.

Greentangle follows directions, aims at the bear's face, presses down for 1-2 seconds to "create a barrier" then must "stop to evaluate the impact of wind and other factors and adjust" aim before spraying again if necessary. Don't spray too casually however, because your weapon only contains a total of 7 seconds of defense (that's about $6 a second). Hopefully the bear has also stopped charging to reevaluate all factors as well. If not, well, 30 feet wasn't far to start with, and it's a lot less after all this evaluating has gone on. With luck, the bear flees before eating too much greentangle.


Terry said...

Phew - pretty tense there for a minute, glad you escaped. :-)

Allan Stellar said...